Introverts — Stop Lying

Introverts, you’re all fucking liars.

As though it were a system or classification based on labeling one another for the purposes of attention seeking as well as first-world problems, applying a label to one’s self that dictates their own behaviour, as well as defining who they may be as a person is one of the most stupid fucking things I’ve ever heard of. Fuck. That’s a mouthful, right? It’s almost as bad as the astrological religious bullshit that states each and everyone of the how many billion fucking people on this planet can be grouped in to no more than twelve groups of animals. Star signs, darling, that bullshit.

Introverts and extroverts. Introverts prefer the comfort of being alone and spending time indoors with a good book, going for days without human contact while they mellow in their self-pity, drama, and tedious ways of anti-social behaviour. They can’t function properly around large groups of people, and they regain their energy from taking deep breaths in large dark rooms, void of other people. Reminds me of a lube-less hand job met with imminent regret. Story for another time.

Also, these introverts, they’re not the most talkative of people, they class themselves as thinkers rather than speakers. Pussies. It’s also worth noting that a grand majority of these traits are only displayed through the delusional belief that they’ll appear mysterious and cool in front of those they despise, like a failed stunt-double for Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series who’s spent far too much time rehearsing one-two many lines from Andrew Fleming’s The Craft.

Yeah, fuck off and grow up.

Extroverts, they’re the complete opposite. Raging out loud, doing as they please, would rather be out than in, soaking up their energy from social gatherings and, well, fucking. Everything introverts are not. Fun instead of sensitive. Going by this daft cultural theory that you’re either one or the other, I guess we can’t take into consideration that the natural functioning of human beings means that our minds and behavioral characteristics are subject to change on a daily basis, and to stay indoors for one day then go out the next would mean an in-between of the two isn’t actually possible. Now do you see how stupid the idea is?

When I think introverts, I think of a small degenerate puppy named Edward Cullen, crying inside the lowest level of the fortress of solitude.

The funniest thing about introverts is that they’re the most hypocritical fuckers out of the two when it comes to the very idea of these make-believe creatures. For a supposed set of people that firmly believe they’re best suited to the comforts of being alone and miserable masturbating in a corner, where they can find solace in darkness, who apparently prefer thinking over dancing and are very much unspoken and unsociable, they spend an awful lot of fucking time promoting their traits across the dreaded trenches of the internet socialsphere.

I mean fuck, they’re quite, where? If introverts were as depraved and desolate as they let on, their tweets wouldn’t reach a retweet count of eleven. And the shivers of their keystrokes would be present with each and every fucking tweet reading as “Iii’m jusst obbseerving” What are you observing, exactly? The relationship between staying indoors with an Amazon Video subscription and the common causes of mental health issues for those who consume too much caffeine?

Short rant over. Introverts, you’re not fucking real and you’re all fucking liars. Like fairies. You’re not special.

 

Original Copyright © 2017 by KalifornicationX.