Introverts — Stop Lying

Introverts, you’re all fucking liars.

As though it were a system or classification based on labeling one another for the purposes of attention seeking as well as first-world problems, applying a label to one’s self that dictates their own behaviour, as well as defining who they may be as a person is one of the most stupid fucking things I’ve ever heard of. Fuck. That’s a mouthful, right? It’s almost as bad as the astrological religious bullshit that states each and everyone of the how many billion fucking people on this planet can be grouped in to no more than twelve groups of animals. Star signs, darling, that bullshit.

Introverts and extroverts. Introverts prefer the comfort of being alone and spending time indoors with a good book, going for days without human contact while they mellow in their self-pity, drama, and tedious ways of anti-social behaviour. They can’t function properly around large groups of people, and they regain their energy from taking deep breaths in large dark rooms, void of other people. Reminds me of a lube-less hand job met with imminent regret. Story for another time.

Also, these introverts, they’re not the most talkative of people, they class themselves as thinkers rather than speakers. Pussies. It’s also worth noting that a grand majority of these traits are only displayed through the delusional belief that they’ll appear mysterious and cool in front of those they despise, like a failed stunt-double for Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series who’s spent far too much time rehearsing one-two many lines from Andrew Fleming’s The Craft.

Yeah, fuck off and grow up.

Extroverts, they’re the complete opposite. Raging out loud, doing as they please, would rather be out than in, soaking up their energy from social gatherings and, well, fucking. Everything introverts are not. Fun instead of sensitive. Going by this daft cultural theory that you’re either one or the other, I guess we can’t take into consideration that the natural functioning of human beings means that our minds and behavioral characteristics are subject to change on a daily basis, and to stay indoors for one day then go out the next would mean an in-between of the two isn’t actually possible. Now do you see how stupid the idea is?

When I think introverts, I think of a small degenerate puppy named Edward Cullen, crying inside the lowest level of the fortress of solitude.

The funniest thing about introverts is that they’re the most hypocritical fuckers out of the two when it comes to the very idea of these make-believe creatures. For a supposed set of people that firmly believe they’re best suited to the comforts of being alone and miserable masturbating in a corner, where they can find solace in darkness, who apparently prefer thinking over dancing and are very much unspoken and unsociable, they spend an awful lot of fucking time promoting their traits across the dreaded trenches of the internet socialsphere.

I mean fuck, they’re quite, where? If introverts were as depraved and desolate as they let on, their tweets wouldn’t reach a retweet count of eleven. And the shivers of their keystrokes would be present with each and every fucking tweet reading as “Iii’m jusst obbseerving” What are you observing, exactly? The relationship between staying indoors with an Amazon Video subscription and the common causes of mental health issues for those who consume too much caffeine?

Short rant over. Introverts, you’re not fucking real and you’re all fucking liars. Like fairies. You’re not special.


Original Copyright © 2017 by KalifornicationX.

39 thoughts on “Introverts — Stop Lying

  1. ‘As though it were a system or classification based on labeling one another for the purposes of attention seeking as well as first-world problems, applying a label to one’s self that dictates their own behaviour, as well as defining who they may be as a person is one of the most stupid fucking things I’ve ever heard of.’

    Agreed. As is others placing you in a box and defining you as they see you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I had to laugh as I read your essay. You really have it out for the innies! Why not just leave them to their own devices instead of attacking them because they are not like you? You’re right most people arent just one or the other. I’m definitely an innie but do like to socialize out there in small groups. You’re right we are often self-absorbed ir choose to glean input from sources that have meaning rather than being drained by empty chatter which is often the case in larger gatherings. Sure chatter greases the social wheels but it sure isnt satsfying any deeper need for connection. Innies commune with this that and the other and surprise sometimes these things arent human. Try having a conversation with a daisy sometime. Innies like online forums because the can control the quantity and quality of engagement. You can have a million hits by outies and the sheer number is impressive. When an innie “likes” youve got their full attention at that moment. Is one better than the other? Hell no. Variety is the spice of life is what my mom has said for years and shes right.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. haha Innie – I like that word. Thing is, it’s not like I’m attacking them or have a grudge or some sort haha no, it’s just I don’t think they’re real. Ya know, like faries, or the X-Men. For instance, some may say I’m introvert because I can go for days staying indoors writing and illustrating only to immerse days later like nothing has happened. Others may say I’m extrovert because I’m a big mouth that’s likely to fuck up a good night out at [insert your favourite club here]…by that definition I am a bit of both, which in turn means that neither exist and I’m simply a person.

      I honestly believe that the reason people believe in this ideology – and the ones that do tend to label themselves as introverts, only do so because it makes them feel special. Like an X-Men or some shit. Humans, they crave attention. Labels provide that. Thing is, label are for products, not people.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Oh they exist, whether you believe or not. If you believe innies are bragging youre ignorant. Do you believe a quadriplegic is bragging? It may be a way of depersonalizing what an outie may perceive as rejection when an innie just wants to be left alone. Again, different strokes for different folks.


      2. quadriplegics are a different case entirely, for one thing they’re without choice. The idea of being an introvert will always appear as attention seeking to me, the current trend, the new thing, like hipsters and slogan t-shirts. Nonetheless, if it weren’t for introverts I wouldn’t have satirical fuel for this blog – like the hipsters. In that instance, I should perhaps give my thanks.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I couldn’t help but to let out a few chuckles. I love how hard you go on these rants. I agree to disagree & I love Edward Cullen : ( . I would consider myself an introvert more than extrovert but I’m no Pussy!😂😂😂. I really enjoyed this. Give the people something to talk about

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s that happy medium, so-called an omnivert; they’re real and we must give them a proper label.

    We are all moody and feel like staying in one night, going out the next. Maybe listening to trap on the way to church. Binging on a box of cookies and youtube then running it off like a beast. In all facets of life, they’re called options. And balance.


  5. This made me think. I can’t say I agree with everything, but it was a good post to read. Why label ourselves? I’m an “extrovert” when I’m out, yet need quite some time completely alone, wrapped up in a blanket, binge watching a show afterwards. So what does that make me? That’s right – a human being. Just like our phones – we need to charge our batteries every once in a while.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Can never not have a chuckle while reading your posts!
    We are like two faces of a coin.. it is probable that in more than one instance you end having the same face that doesn’t mean you are only an “innie” 😛 or an extrovert!!


  7. “Introverts, extroverts, omnioverts, technoverts, obnoixioverts”, I have a headache! But what about sociopaths were do they fall in the category? Now that’s what I would like to know.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hank Moody is my spirit animal. I know the spelling is different, but you’ve got the Californication vibe down pat.

    And speaking on behalf of the miserable masturbating introverts in here, I’ve got no issue at all with being outside. Just so long as there are no people out here cluttering it up for me…


    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re actually the second person to reference that show on my blog. Having seen only two episodes myself, I don’t see the vibe (others do, weird) Minus the similarities in name I just don’t see it. My name’s Kal, fornication goes hand in hand for a snazzy blog title. (Damn, I should really do a blog post on my blog name, should I?) The show on the other hand, well, that seems to be a stylized idea of Bukowski. Words taken literally for tongue in-cheek sitcom entertainment for stay at home dads. fuck, that was rude. Back on subject, masturbation is good for your health. Oh and that introvert stuff, yeh fuck em too.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. You didn’t have to go in like that, bruh lol!! I see what you saying though. It seems like the person (or people) who came up with that distinction, the difference between a introvert and extrovert, was an introvert themselves, just so they could feel good about being a recluse. I here ya.


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