As I release my thoughts and feelings on the upcoming material I believe it’s only right that I practise this piece by giving reassurance to my readers. My cold, black heart still remains layered in ice. Worry not. As for the small crying boy caged up deep inside – screaming for attention, I’m still drowning him in whiskey every time I hear an increment of a whisper. But what the actual fuck – I have no shame. Momma raised a train wreck – my shamelessness is a guarantee. Here’s hoping my testosterone remains high and my cum stays salty. The good salty, mind you, with richness and texture. Because, emotions, right? Strength and fuckery all in one go. Best to keep my male ego in check just incase things go South. I mean, I’ll go South, but that’s another subject entirely. Male ego – nailed it. Now, on to the emotions.
I was watching Disney’s Hercules. Yes, Disney – Greek Gods, slaughtered history, and fictional tales of strong men parading around in skirts. I shit you not. The strongest man in fictional belief wore a fucking skirt. Spell Bitch for me? That’s besides the point, and I’m sure the hipsters, feminists, and first-world problem equal opportunists will curse me for it. This Hercules guy, he falls in love with a woman. Like, real love. From the moment he meets her, he’s decided on his feelings. Fuck getting to know her and bending her out from behind into a morning of awkward questions, he’s damn near mind-fucked into submission. Not important. Well, it is, slightly. She’s damaged goods. Used and bruised. Her heart’s sealed up and she’s been hurt by love.
From the moment our troubled fair lady walks on to the screen and starts flapping her gums you can tell that her only interest in men resides to fucking and running. Evident by the Horse she’s seen fucking under a waterfall. Yes, I’m aware this is an animated film for kids, but the kids don’t know that, do they? As an adult you see notice things. Megara, her name is, she’s a jezebel. A Babylon confidante. A cluster-fuck of loose-lip seduction in a pantyless dress, and our star of the show falls head over heels in love with her. This is very much besides the point, I know. But as a guy, it’s within my animalistic instincts of disgusting thoughts and vile outlandish cravings to notice such things. Typical guy, right? Woof. As I was saying; her heart’s in chains, he’s certified pussywhipped, and she’s definitely not wearing underwear under that dress.
On to the emotional bit, as I touched upon previously. There’s a scene in the movie that really reached and touched me. Grabbed me by the testicles and had me thinking real deep. The type of things you hear that will have you concentrating all of your emotions into one singular energy, and it that moment there’s a blackness, and nothing else matters. You can’t even come. You’re at peace. You realise what’s important in life. Who’s important. How you deserve the best and how you crave to do good and be the best by others. Give your all to someone you really care for. And it got me thinking, the most insignificant things in life are also those which speak to us the most. The most simplistic of gestures and the most incremental of favours that extend their arms and tit-twist us into compliance. The small shit that’s important.
Our hero’s love interest, Meg, she sacrifices herself during a fight and just before being dragged off to the depths of Hell, she manages to whisper something of genuine sincerity into our hero’s ears. “People always do crazy things, when they’re in love.” Fuck me sideways with my toes pinned behind my ears. If that wasn’t heart-raping enough to get your man tears running and your female juices flowing, then fuck me again I don’t know what it is. It wasn’t the act of the character sacrificing her life that necessarily matters, it’s how these words can be applied to other situations, as well as the undeniable and absolute truth in the words themselves. Love really will fuck you up.
To give into love is to accept compulsion. A woman with the means to compel the strongest man can have him weak in the knees, doing things he wouldn’t dare attempt or even think about doing prior to her entering his life. Crazy shit. A sucker for happy endings I am, this is no surprise. But as you’re watching the film, you begin by questioning how far this guy’s actually willing to go for vagina. Seriously, is he really convinced her vagina is that worthy of his Godly presence? Fuck. He’s not chasing pussy, he’s in love. And in that scene; Meg’s downfall, only one thing came to my mind. The actions of a crazy man guided by love proved to be ultimately successful in smashing the chains from her guarded heart – for her to feel and do the same in return, all for the sake of love. Stronger in love than in sheer physical strength. A Greek fucking tragedy by all means.
Also, I found it rather funny how the supporting characters throw insults at Hercules by calling him Jerk-ules. Jerking off to Meg until she gives it up.
Original Copyright © 2017 by KalifornicationX.